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 Post subject: Wind Riderz Part I Chapter 1
PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2015 5:52 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 3:02 pm
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Hey folks,

in this form is the piece which I'll be using for this years Miscon Workshop. If you wish to read this and send me feed back my email is dontmakemychoice30@yahoo.com

Dear Critiquing Authors,

I studied creative writing at the University Of Montana in Missoula. I obtained a bachelors degree specializing in creative writing in 2013. I still keep up with writing by doing short stories, novels and writing exercises. I’m part of a local group called Writers Anonymous. We meet twice a month to share our writings with each other and get feedback. I’m also currently
participating in the Critters Online workshop. I also participated in the Miscon workshop last year as well.
When I’m not writing I keep myself busy by being the Crossing Guard for Lewis and Clark Elementary. Some days I get called in to substitute noon duty aide at various Elementary schools around Missoula. I get to enforce the rules on the playground. They’re good jobs and I’ve been at them for a year maybe a little more than that.
Now for your critiquing purposes I present you all with Wind Riderz Part I Chapter 1

Wind Riderz Part I Synopsis

It’s the 22nd century and time travel has been invented. Nova Watch Repair operates it, which is an organization that most people know very little about.
Time-traveler Mitchell Zots is dead set on going back in time to save his father Scott Zots from being murdered. He spends four years in the mountains above Murk City where he is trained to work for Nova Watch Repair. When he gets out he makes a trip back to 2114 and tries to save his father three times and each time doesn’t work. Every-time he tries to save him he just makes things worse. After this it seems Mitchell’s journeys are over till he meets Latimer from 2148 aftermath resorted to fighting. To stop the war Mitchell urges Latimer to take him to 2118, but instead he is trapped in 2208 the after math of the war. It’s a place where people have resulted to fighting and cannibalism. Now Mitchell must find a way back to 2118 to stop this future from happening.

Wind Riderz Part 1: Chapter 1

By Christopher Cragwick

Christopher Cragwick
About 1806 words

735 West Sussex #2
Missoula, MT 59801




Christopher Cragwick
About 1806 words

735 West Sussex #2
Missoula, MT 59801



Wind Riderz Part I: Chapter 1

By Christopher Cragwick

Chapter One: Going Back In Time To Prevent A War

Date Log: November 15, 2148

In the Royal City, streets, homes, and business buildings were being destroyed. Planes came from dimensional rifts in the sky, dropping bombs and shooting lasers at those who were defenseless. Those in wing suits
appeared and fought the planes by using their handheld machine guns to dent them. Some of the wing-suit people landed on the ground and went to the endangered pedestrians. Latimer saw a mother shielding her little girl from the attack.
“Come with me,” Latimer said.
He took the girl and her mother to a transport vehicle and they climbed inside.
“It’s going to be alright, Isabel,” the mother said.

“Those planes keep appearing in the sky,” Isabel said.

“Never mind that.”

“More of them will come. Those alien invaders won’t stop till this city is destroyed,” the mother said.
“It’s already destroyed. Yet, the fighting continues,” Isabel said.
“She’s right.”
Latimer pulled up to an abandoned courthouse.

They got out of the vehicle and went inside. There were wounded soldiers on cots. Many were bleeding to death and there was a shortage of doctors.
“Why aren’t these people in a hospital?” Isbell asked.

“Because it was destroyed two weeks ago along with most of the medical staff,” Latimer said.

“Is this where we’ll be staying?” the mother asked.

“No. There will be someone to escort you out of the city,” Latimer said as Sergeant Cricket approached him.
“I take it these two are in need of transport to the safe haven.” Sergeant Cricket said.
“Yes, sir,” Latimer said.

“I’ll see to it. In the mean time I’d like to have a word with you in private, Latimer.”
Sergeant Cricket and Latimer went to the hallway.
“What’s this about, Sir?” Latimer asked.

“This is between you and me. Let no one else hear of it.”
“No one else will hear about it. Now what’s it about, sir?”
“I’m gonna go back in time to destroy that machine,” Sergeant Cricket said.
“Careful. S.T.C could hear you. You know what it did to Steven. He tried to destroy it and he didn’t succeed
“I’m going to 2111 where S.T.C will be less intelligent and more defenseless. All I have to do is destroy that machine before it gets programmed.”

“If you destroy S.T.C back there, things will still be the same here. The quantum specialists at Nova Watch repair will still create that infernal machine.”
“Then I’ll kill the creators before they even finish their job.” Sargent Cricket said.
“Is this what its come to? You going back in time to murder innocent people.”
“They’re not innocent. They’re part of this destruction. They must die for what they did.”
“You mean for something they’re going to do because they have no idea of its destructive results, but they will some day?”
“Look! Our men are being killed. Those planes and wing suits are appearing from the rift faster than we can get rid of them.”
“Fine. Do what you must, but leave me out of it.” Latimer turned around, but Sergeant Cricket grabbed him.
“No. You’re gonna be my decoy,” Sergeant Cricket said.

“In case something happens to me, you’re gonna go back to 2111 and destroy that machine.”
“I won’t.”

“I order you to go with me on this all the way,” the Sergeant Cricket demanded.
“Yes, sir.”
Latimer followed him down the hall.
Jack entered the room where S.T.C was. S.T.C was a massive machine, with clocks, pressure gauges, a keypad and an artificial brain built in.
“Hello, Jack.” S.T.C said.

“I know what that ‘hello’ means. You have something to tell me don’t you, S.T.C?”
“I’ve intercepted a conversation that Sergeant Cricket had with Latimer. They want to use me to go back to 2111. They plan to destroy me and I cannot allow that.”
“Things would be better off if you didn’t exist.” Jack approached S.T.C.
“Watch your tone, sir, and let me mind you, if either of them goes back in time, they dare destroy my programmers. One of them who is your grandfather, Scott Zots.”
“If Scott gets killed, I won’t exist,” Jack said.

“If you don’t exist, you won’t be able to one day do back in time and save your sister Sarah.”
“That does sound bad, but on the other hand, without me and my family, this war wouldn’t be happening.” Jack turned around.
“Wars still happen anyway. You humans are destined to destroy each other till there’s nothing left,” S.T.C said.
“But without you down those planes wouldn’t be here.”

“Don’t dare undermine my superiority,” S.T.C made the room shake.
“Alright. I won’t bring it up again.” Jack fell down.

“Good. Now when Sergeant Cricket and Latimer enter, you are to terminate them,” S.T.C said.
“I can’t do that.” Jack got on his feet.

“If you don’t I’ll kill you and then I’ll kill them.”

“No I’ll stop them without means of killing,” Jack said.
“If you try, either they’ll kill you or you’ll kill them. I sense their presence,” S.T.C said as Sergeant Cricket and Latimer entered the room.
“Jack, there’s a woman and her child who need transport to the safe haven. Go take care of it,” Sergeant Cricket demanded.
“Yes, sir.” Jack exited the room.

Sergeant Cricket and Latimer approached S.T.C as the floor shook and made them fall. They went up to the machine and touched some buttons on the keypad.
“Look out.” Latimer moved Sergeant Cricket to avoid a chunk of the ceiling that crashed to the ground beside them.
“S.T.C knows what we’re up to,” Sergeant Cricket said.

“I told you he was monitoring the halls,” Latimer said.

“Either way, one of us is making that journey,” Sergeant Cricket said.
“I can’t let you do that.” Jack returned pointing a pistol straight at their heads.
“You are to step outside and escort the lady and her child,” Sergeant Cricket said as he and Latimer turned around.
“I’ll do that later,” Jack said.
“No, you’ll do that now because I order you.” Sergeant Cricket said.
“I had enough of your orders, sir. I can’t allow you to use S.T.C. It told me everything about your planned trip back in time.”
“See? I told you S.T.C was monitoring us,” Latimer said.

“Latimer, step outside while I have a talk with Jack.”

“Yes, sir.” Latimer did as Sergeant Cricket commanded.

“Let me remind you that I’m going back in time weather you like it or not.” Sergeant Cricket was about to touch the keypad.
“Don’t you dare.” Jack put his pistol to Sergeant Cricket’s neck.
“If you’re gonna stop me, you’ll have to kill me.” Sergeant Cricket proceeded with pressing buttons on the keypad.
“Don’t make me kill you, sir. I don’t want to, but S.T.C has given me that order and I must obey it if you dare take that journey.”
“Then I dare.” Sergeant Cricket disarmed Jack of his pistol and knocked him to the ground.
He went to the keypad and programed the destination for June 11, 2111. The keypad sizzled and shocks ran through Sergeant Cricket’s body.
“So that’s how its gonna be.” Sargent Cricket was about to approach the machine, but Jack tackled him down.
They wrestled, rolled around on the ground, pulled each other’s hair, punched each other in the face and kicked each other in the groin.

“You know that machine must be destroyed, Jack going back in time is the only way to do it,” Sargent Cricket said.
“I have a sister who exists back in time. If you destroy that machine back then I won’t be able to save her.” Jack threw Sergeant Cricket to the ground.
“Once I destroy that machine your sister will be fine.” Sergeant Cricket decked Jack and went back to the machine.
“No.” Jack picked up the pistol and shot Sergeant Cricket.
“What have you done?” Latimer entered the room.
Sergeant Cricket dropped down. Jack shoved Latimer out of the way and exited the room. Latimer went up to Sergeant Cricket and turned him on his back.
“You must journey to July 11, 2111.”

“You need a doctor,” Latimer said.

“No time for that. Reach into my right pocket.” Latimer did as Sergeant Cricket commanded.
He took out a bracelet device that had a keypad, clock dials, and a round slot that had a fueled marble in it.
“You decided to build a smaller version of S.T.C.” Latimer placed the device around his arm.

“In case something goes wrong you’ll need to be in contact with S.T.C. Program the time destination on both machines” Latimer programed the destination on the device.
He went up to the machine and tried to program the same destination on the keypad, but S.T.C shocked him. Latimer went up and punched the machine and proceeded with programing the destination.
“Destination not happening.” S.T.C made the numbers erase.
“Dang you.” Latimer punched the machine and tried to program the destination again, but the numbers changed at a rapid rate.
“It won’t let me program the destination.” Latimer turned to Sargent Cricket.
“Then you must take a chance and end up somewhere back in time. It might not be the exact time and place, but controlling S.T.C will be easier in the past.”
“I won’t allow you to control me.” S.T.C made the floor tremble.”
“Plug the bracelet into the machine and it will absorb the random destinations.” Latimer did as Sergeant Cricket said.
Once plugged in, the bracelet did so and activated the device. Latimer went up to Sergeant Cricket and looked at him for one last time.
“In case you can’t make it to July, 11 2111. You must find Mitchell Zots and study him throughout his life.”
“What’s Mitchell got to do with this?” Latimer asked.

“Much. He marries a woman named Jesse they have a child who grows up to shoot me.”
“You mean Jack is his child?” Latimer asked.

“Yes. And if you end up somewhere in 2118, you must make sure they never marry, you must destroy the machine, and you must kill any members of the Zots family because they are the cause of this,” Sargent Cricket said.
“I’ll do what is necessary,” Latimer said.

“Good. Now when you’re back in time you must create an alias. No one in the past except Mitchell shall know who you…” Sergeant Cricket couldn’t get the last word in.
“Who I what?” Latimer asked as Sergeant Cricket died.

“I’ll figure it out.” Latimer reached into Sergeant Cricket’s pocket and took out more of the fueled marbles.
Then he jerked his hand, stepped through a wormhole and vanished.

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